WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
