...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
