You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
