well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
