we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
