I just pynch a tree in the face
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
