All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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