Rock
Scissors
Fuck
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
