I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
