in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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