Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize
