I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
