You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
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