eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
