Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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