So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'm at about main and main street
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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