i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
