Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Randomize
