Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
