if i can run in heels then i can drive
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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