I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
