i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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