I want to walk on stilts...naked
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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