My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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