we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
