I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
