omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Randomize
