there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
