it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
