He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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