I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
