that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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