My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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