My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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