Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
