porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
