Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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