Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
