she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
