so that wasnt chicken after all
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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