i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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