I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
