i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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