Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
