Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
