I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
