everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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