if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
