You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
