I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
