He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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