oh god the rape fog is back!
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
